The first source of envy is conscious or subconscious insecurity. When conscious, you feel inadequate. You doubt you deserve a happy relationship or a companion.
When it's subconscious, you don't think you're not good enough, but you hear CDs about how you don't deserve happiness.
You may feel envious because a prior spouse cheated on you or you witnessed a loved one cheating. Perhaps your boyfriend cheated early in your relationship.
You're terrified to relax because you don't want to experience that terrible pain again.
Another form of envy is thinking you own your lover. That mentality prevents them from talking to anyone else. You jump on them if they look at another person, supposedly keeping them in line.
Jealousy is never appealing. If you accuse somebody of something they're not doing, they'll probably do it to spite you. Since you're punishing them as guilty, why not commit the crime.
Another reason of envy is the idea that feelings should never alter. Your spouse or lover captivated you. You were compatible, shared stuff, and possibly had children.
Despite that, things change. Separation can occur. Someone can knock you off your feet. This situation can happen, but I'm not defending its morality.
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